Just a quick entry. I am packing for the trip and have to run by the store. I grab a bite to eat at KFC (had a hankering for corn on the cob!) and sit down at our kitchen counter to eat. We don’t have cable or satellite (no, I just know I’d spend way too much time watching the History Channel and fighting with my son over watching Sports Center for the 4th time in a row), so I’m trying to find something about the election on this tiny little 4-inch b&w TV we have sitting on top of the microwave. And since I couldn’t find anything, I ended up doing something odd: I turned to that channel between 20 and 22, that network that has like $700,000,000 more than it needs but is always begging for money anyway, and lo and behold there’s a couple preaching–no, “prophesying,” with the last name of White! I guess they are from Florida somewhere. The woman was rat-a-tatting along like T.D. Jakes, promising that if you get up and go to the phone and pledge $84.11 per month for a year then, well, everything good is going to happen to you. She kept quoting, out of context, of course, a portion from Psalm 84:11, though I didn’t hear much about the “walking uprightly” part. In fact, I didn’t hear anything distinctly Christian the entire time I was eating. But I did hear a lot about giving $84.11 to a bunch of filthy rich heretics.
At one point the husband managed to get a word in edgewise and he started talking about “favor” (he was “prophesying” from Exodus 3:21: watching them do tag-team eisegesis for money was truly amazing). I about choked on a bite of wonderfully yummy buttermilk biscuit as he came up with a financially-based definition about getting lots of money from God by calling this TV network. At one point my wife stopped packing long enough to wander by and watch for a moment. “See, honey,” I said, “that’s what you need to start doing. That’s why we don’t have a big house and lots of money.” She gave me the “oh brother” look and went back to packing.
Every time I take a few moments to turn on that channel I am reminded once again about how utterly foreign the religion they peddle and sell is from that found in the Bible. I know, they talk about the Bible, and for some reason a few genuine Christians fall through a trap door and end up like a fish out of water on their stage, but in general the Bible exists there only to be eisegetically tortured into a money-making prop for a bunch of false prophets and charlatans who know exactly what they are doing all along. I used to wonder who would say to God someday, “But Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name??” but I really don’t wonder about that part anymore. I now realize that they will then add “And we even have video to prove it!” Jesus’ answer will be the same, despite the video archives.
